I was reading a story about Red Wings goalie Chris Osgood, the writer bemoaning Chris’s “enigmatic” status as Detroit’s latest sports pinata. Any mistake, the fans are on him; then, when he blows their minds by coming through big-time, they boast about the faith they always had.

So, with increased ability comes a smaller margin of error. I got to wondering about such things. It occurred to me that there is an incredibly huge margin for an enormous amount of errors in general. With some exceptions where errors are life-threatening or, in financial matters, where an error only occurs when money is lost by us, we give ourselves plenty of room to mess up.

Our heroes, though, don’t know that luxury. We constantly hold them up to ideals we cherish, even as we defend our right to fail in reaching them. “Sure we make mistakes, but that’s what makes us human.” We’re constantly justifying why it’s okay that we screw up so much.

Until someone comes along who does more and screws up less.

Wait a minute – you can’t make a mistake. Anywhere. Ever. Period.

Rock stars, athletes, actors, cotton-candy makers, dirigible repairmen – all living under an increased pressure to be perfect all the time. This is the one of the main reasons we don’t see abundances of casual celebrity appearances all over the place. (Or many working dirigibles.)

I eventually pondered on why we apply the ultimate margining – No Room for Error.
Then it hit me.     ….When I came to, I realized:

    This could explain why there are so few visible manifestations of God.

Usually, a person must be considered quite holy, sacred, or blessed to have a one-on-one with the Supreme Being, we assume. It’s rare because it’s special.

Well, considering the level of VIP we’re talking about, it could be entirely possible that God has things to do elsewhere. Maybe we’re just not on the casual list. Maybe we see the Big Boss simply because we’ve done something and now God “has to come down here”.

Just maybe, though, there’s a third reason why God doesn’t want to stop in as often.

Maybe we just put too much social pressure on the Ol’ Supreme Being.

Look at it from God’s point of view:
 
Perfect, omnipotent, omniscient, and a snappy dresser – a fairly high standard to maintain socially, and our expectations are very high.

Since we have free will, we can choose to interpret God’s will and actions as wrong if we don’t like them. Or if they don’t fit in with our plans. Or if they forbid something we like. Or if we don’t like the way the rules are written out. Or if there’s a game on TV.

Now, since God is perfect and we can’t argue with that, we’ve taken to boasting about our imperfections in retaliation. “To err is human” and we are really, really human in that regard.

So, every once in a while, God comes by and says “Hey, don’t be proud of screwing up. And don’t be too embarrassed about it either. Just try to learn without hurting each other, OK? And I’ll get back to you later.”

And then, everytime, some wahoo goes and invents a religion over it and starts telling people how to live perfectly even though they are imperfect in God’s eyes and therefore can’t.
 
“But if you follow my new rules it will happen anyway. Now, here’s the 723 things you can’t do. First, no paisley M&Ms.”

If people did that to you, would you visit them any more than you absolutely had to?

Of course not.

You’d search for other things to do. “Oh, a new baby star being born over in Andromeda nursery – gotta run.” “Sorry – left the black hole running at home.” “Can’t drop by today – Mah-Jong Tourney on Betelgeuse 7.”

When you look at the way we’ve behaved “religiously” over time, you can just imagine God inventing things to do elsewhere just to keep away from us.

To God, we’re that really polite neighbor that acts like your best friend immediately and then rips on you to everyone else until he needs something. Then he starts praising you all over when he needs something that’s out of the question, and doesn’t even know why the bad rap starts again.

And so our social cycle with God continues to decline. God rarely checks MyFace or SpaceBook or posts a status update. God’s Twitter account is still unactivated. Even the answering service in Kansas City confirms no messages retrieved since 1957.

It’s our fault. We put so much pressure on God to be human, that we forget to allow God to be, um, God.

God should be able to run free, creating galaxies and planets and moons with lovely green space go-go-dancers. (Ok, I may be in the minority on that last one.)

And if God thinks a galaxy is untidy and wants to run the black hole for a while, who are we to judge?

Creating life, performing miracles, writing a billion years worth of lesson plans for 80 trillion lifeforms – it takes it’s toll. God even had to work overtime on our job, and that was not at time and a half. The lunch truck wasn’t even out and the jobsite was flooding. This was no picnic in the garden. (At least, not until Monday.)

So, if we put ourselves in God’s place, and we do so constantly, would we want to be misquoted, lied to, betrayed, and manipulated while being praised, thanked, and worshipped by murderers and terrorists? Wouldn’t we blow our top the first time we heard that “so-and-so told me you said to do this or I’d fry”?

You’d be hopping mad, wouldn’t you? Probably want to throw a few galaxies around to blow off a little steam. Who could blame you? After all, it’s not your fault – you’re the Supreme Being. Actually, by definition, nothing is God’s fault.

But that damn pesky free will. The right to choose, balanced by the learned wisdom to know which… Oh, wait, that’s in the lesson plan for after lunch. Darn!

So, we know we can choose, but we don’t know why, and God can’t make us choose or it blows the whole free will thing, and God can’t call us on our tomfoolery because we always claim “we’re your creation and you made us perfectly like you so we’re perfect and mistakes are normal. Some shifting of contents may occur.”

So maybe we should cut God a break and admit that we’re Bozo’s and it’s not God’s fault. Go – run through a nebula! Have a Mint Julep on Rigel 5. Dip your feet in a comet’s tail. Enjoy your universe – you earned it!!!

Maybe we can learn to appreciate perfection relatively on a deeper metaphysical level than ever before, unveiling the secrets of the universe and the wisdom to do that which we could only imagine but never conceive.

And finally, someday….

We could learn to cut Chris Osgood some slack.

The Lunatic Fringe in the Middle

ii.:   Forward

I should note, for the record, that I am an average person, with dreams and aspirations as lofty as any, and immediate needs as meager as all. I can identify with all humans on one level – the right to exist, free of abuse, containment, and undue seizures or bias. These are the foundations, (albeit re-phrased) of the basic rights set forth in all the documents drafted by America’s founders. The wording of these documents is, in most cases, general enough as to be applied in greater scope as people become more enlightened. Some issues, such as slavery, were initially allowed in, and had to be amended when the nation, as a whole figured out what was wrong. (Too bad it took several generations and a civil war to just fix the paper on that one!) Similarly, including women’s participation in the voting process was a detail not stated expressly in the Constitution, but one which the language does not in any way deny. The absolute sexism of the day had to be overcome.

Even now, we have yet to see, as a nation, the true, boundless aspect of those words penned on hemp, and finally parchment, over 200 years ago. Merely substitute “human beings”, for “man”, and the words, as if magically, apply to everyone. There’s no need to state any further definition or interpretation. Perceiving the main body of works from this point of view instantly points out the contradictions that may occur, such as the issue of slavery, (which should never have been there) and omissions in common practice, such as women’s right to vote, (which should never have been in question, and should not have required a constitutional amendment). These antiquated notions are but clinging vestiges of the politics of the past, of dollars invested. It was men with power, putting off “just this little bit” of humanity so as to protect their investments. (Nuclear weapons ring any bells,here?) They are, more importantly, proof that our government has always been vulnerable to special interests, fear of invasion, and unscrupulous behavior on the part of it’s members. All of this has occurred here, in spite of the fact that ours is the first nation on earth founded on the premise that the citizens are in control of the whole process.

This is not like 600 years ago, when a Lord or landowner could butter up the king, or all the dukes on the way up if he had to, and end up “owning” your land, now suddenly demanding taxes or your life. We were set up specifically to avoid that problem. Today, the problem exists as much as ever, with political and corporate groups constantly dogging the government for favors at every level, throwing barrels of money at every congressman they can, hoping one of them will bite, and using their influence to write, change or “get around” a law that affects their business. There is one very important difference.

This time we have let this happen.

Henry David Thoreau’s “Essay on Civil Disobedience” was, at the time, a call to honor for all Americans. It dealt mainly with the issues of slavery and taxes. He was really big on the whole tax thing. It took up a major part of the essay. The only other big problem he mentions at any length is slavery. He was vehemently against it as a concept, and he saw inclusion of it in the Constitution as an absolute outrage,in every way. When it came to taxes, though, Thoreau had mixed feelings. He pretty much objected to owing taxes to the state just because you are alive and you live here. He persistently avoided and outright refused to pay most taxes on many occasions (and if not for generous friends, would have spent more than one night in jail for it), but curiously, he had no problem paying the highway tax. The logic binding is the idea that a government should only tax for what they need to do for the citizens, as decided by the citizens themselves. He saw no problem with supporting education, but he preferred to help in that area with his expertise rather than his pocketbook. In any case, freedom from unfair taxation was one of the basic reasons for the inception of this country, and Thoreau was proper to point out the inequities of the government in that area. His work still stands today, merely inserting “racism” or “bias” for “slavery”, “U.S.A.” for “Massachusetts” and the politician of your choice for “Daniel Webster”. You can leave the rest pretty much intact, and you will be amazed to discover how relevant it still is in today’s society. There is a catch, though.

Thoreau wrote at a time when the nation was new and still getting its legs. The spirit of the revolution was still alive, as evidenced by the war with Mexico (which Thoreau was completely against). The danger of the new government falling into old feudal ways had a foreboding nearness to it. This is what caused Thoreau to write his call to civil defiance. His views mirror the protesters’ cries against the Vietnam war, the anguish of the Civil Rights Movement, and – unheard in most of society (ignored today as well) – the tax burden on the low income citizen. His plea for integrity and law-breaking was meant in only that way. Fight the bad laws by breaking them. This idea, sadly, has taken on a vastly different meaning.

Americans nowadays are cynically resigned to the concept that they cannot win, politically, in any way, and must live with whatever the “fat cats” in the government want to do to them. Since they think the fight is unwinnable, they take out their frustration on each other, exercising their right to “Civil Disobedience” in such patriotic ways as parking in handicapped spaces, weaving in and out of traffic at will, writing checks in the cash only line, and calling 911 for directions.

What follows is a series of essays on modern times. I hope you agree.

If not, at least you’re thinking, for Pete’s sake!!!

 
©2000 Pegwood Arts. All Rights Reserved.
 

<<–prev   top    next–>>

Return to the beginning of the book